Bud Reviews: Transformers 4: Age of Extinction (film)
|Murderous Prime everyone!|
If you don't remember, I posted a (Thoughts on Transformers 4) article saying why this movie may be the movie we've been waiting for. I mainly based my predictions on the Dinobots, the trailer, and the new designs. I genuinely thought that things may change. That Michael Bay and Hasbro would learn from their mistakes and push this franchise to the limit. I went against myself and my friends in judging Bay. "This time will be different, you will see". "It's not a hype train, it's friggin Grimlock , how is he going to mess it up?"
Well I was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong! Bay messed up big. ( I am aware it's entire teams, but Bay is the focal point).
Age of Extinction failed on many levels except the visual awe. The special effects were great.The previous 3 films looked great too. No argument there
But I'm not reviewing a tech demo, I'm reviewing a movie.
It was long, very very long. At 2 hours and 45 minutes I was exhausted. Non stop action. Scene after scene. Car chase after car chase. Explosion after explosion. I like action movies but I felt I needed to drink a gallon of powerthirst and snort cocaine to wake up. As some have described it, Bay doesn't make movies, he makes roller coaster rides. Then why on Earth is he making movies! Why is he still making Transformers movies? TF4 has a new cast, namely Mark Wahlberg ,Kelsey Grammer, and Stanley Tucci. No Shia La Beouf, no Megan Fox, and no new Megan. New robot cast with new designs and new villains. Everything is new! Well new packaging that is, but same crap. The acting was much better than the previous three. Frasier was outstanding as usual, so was Stanley Tucci. I personally didn't think Mark Wahlberg was convincing as an inventor, but he was good...not great...just good. I forgot to mention some new blonde girl with her boyfriend who looks a lot like Harvey from the Sabrina the Teenage Witch sitcom.
"So you have this amazing cast and great special effects, what's your problem with the movie?"
Literally, everything else. Story, plot progression, and the Transformers themselves. No one was able to follow this incoherent mess. The story wasn't explained at all. Events happened unrealistically. There is "regular unrealistic" and "simply outlandish pure out of Bay's head unrealistic". The Transformers were not Transformers, they were walking and talking one liners with weird accents that were barely audible. Their characterizations were far off from their previous incarnations (which we are used to by now). But in the case of Optimus, it deviated even more from the previous films. It doesn't mention anything from the previous movies except that the Transformers brought war. It's disturbing that they did that. Even the guys that made the movies acknowledge that it was crap.
To end the spoiler free part and summarize:
Transformers Age of Extinction had better aspects than the previous films, like the cast and designs, yet makes for a horrible and messy experience. It throws away all the potential of this once revered franchise. It's because of this I rank it as one of the worst movies I have ever seen. To take something like Transformers and take it down to the depths of the sewage and dunk it over and over again...is something I can't approve. Transformers 4 sucks, it was just a bad movie, worse than Revenge of the Fallen. Revenge was bad already, but it was a mistake, but TF 4 repeats that mistake. No wonder Rotten Tomatoes puts it at 18%.
Transformers 4: Age of Extinction gets a D on the B.U.D scale:
To treat such a rich franchise like Transformers in such a bad way for 4 movies in a row is something I cannot accept. Stay away from this decaying film universe. There are lots of franchises that don't disregard their fanbase and sweep them under the rug. Marvel is doing an amazing job with Guardians of the Galaxy. Or just watch the cartoons, Transformers Prime is a good start. Hell, the Angry Birds Transformers looks better than TF4, and that's Angry Birds!
The B.U.D scale:
U= Useless (Not recommended)
D= Do not buy
SPOILER ALERT (RANT INCOMING).
You have the nerve to put Dinobots in the movie and not have them SPEAK? Not once? Me Grimlock? Frank Welker is in the movie, ask him to make Sludge voice, any thing.
What do you think the Dinobots are? They're just pretty to look at? Legendary warriors my ass!
"We're giving you freedom" Prime says to Grimlock, then like 30 seconds after, with the sword to Grimlock's neck
" You defend my family, or die"
What the FISITRON!
Who says that?
Is that freedom you are offering?
That's not Optimus Prime. That is a knock off. Prime would never kill a human. Not so brutally anyways. After killing Attinger, Prime didn't show any kind of remorse and goes on saying "for honor" or something like that. Yes there is honor in shooting a man who was trying to do his job. I mean sure you're defending friend your whom you just met, but remind me, weren't you the one who told Sentinel Prime "there are other ways" or something like that. Optimus could have put his shield between them and allowed Lockdown to kill him. He's obsessed with Earth. If you like it that much, why don't you marry it!
The only Chinese apartment they enter in the movie happens to have an American football lying around?
Who are the creators anyway? What about the Allspark! The entire first movie was dedicated to it.
Why are you so indecisive? Choose a plot or story and go through it. How many times did the Transformers land on Earth?
You have Fallen and 13 original guys, the creators (ok not Transformers but still), Megatron, Sentinel whatshisface. Earth is like Grand Central station.
The lore is truly messed up.
The straw that broke the Dinobot's back was that there wasn't a single mention of Cybertron or its fate. Not once.
Who wrote this movie? A junkion? I tell you who's writing the script, the damn production line in some Hasbro factory, that's who. The actual line is doing all the work, it's not only making toys in horrible working conditions, but it's writing scripts for all of Transformers.
At least Galvatron was the only good thing that came out of this IMO.
This movie really pissed me off. The movies don't give you any closure whatsoever. I could go on and on about every single frame in the film. There are positives, as I said Galvatron, but the negatives squish the positives.
Don't watch this.